Month 9 · Lead Leaders
Candid and Kind
Make hard conversations safer, sooner, and more useful without sacrificing truth or dignity.
Capacity being formed
Courageous Communication
Be candid and kind, ask better questions, repair quickly, and make expectations usable.
Evidence of formation
A delayed conversation produces clearer trust, ownership, and a dated follow-through without shame or ambiguity.
Signorelli wisdom
“If you’re kind but not candid, you aren’t a very good leader.”
Candor and kindness are one leadership discipline.
We will not use kindness to hide or candor to punish. The goal is truth a person can receive, own, and act on with dignity intact.
Biblical anchor · ESV
“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.”
Your discovery tool
FACT Conversation
Rehearse a live conversation using FACT: Facts observed, Assumption owned, Curiosity invited, Target agreement.
Facts
State the observable behavior, time, place, and impact without motive language.
Assumption
Name your interpretation as an interpretation, not a verdict.
Curiosity
Write two genuine questions and leave room for information that changes your view.
Target
Define the clear standard, their ownership, your support, and the review date.
Your session journey
One discovery. One rehearsal. One covenant.
You never have to perform for your coach. Bring one real situation and stay close to what is true, usable, and within your responsibility.
0–7
Arrive
Rate present intensity 0–10; name one desired outcome.
7–15
Witness
Name what changed, what helped, and what remains difficult.
15–25
Language
Underline one phrase; explain it in your own words; choose the phrase you need today.
25–45
FACT Conversation
Write concise answers for all four fields using one current, concrete situation.
45–57
Locate
Name the governing story, protection, motive, expectation, or system and the cost it creates.
57–70
Rehearse
Practice the new response out loud; receive feedback; repeat until the first step is clear and natural.
70–82
Prescribe
Select the practice, calendar it, and identify the witness or environmental support.
82–90
Covenant
State one commitment, one witness, one due date, and one piece of evidence. Rate confidence 0–10; shrink the plan if below 7.
Why the practice can work
Why safety precedes learning
In a field study of 51 work teams, psychological safety was associated with learning behavior and helped explain team performance. The coaching implication is simple: candor grows when interpersonal risk is handled with dignity and curiosity.
Read the primary source →Edmondson (1999), Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383
Thirty-day prescription
Practice until it becomes available under pressure.
Within 24 hours of important tension
Use FACT for one clarity conversation.
Evidence: Date, opening words, agreement, and review date.
After each conversation
Send a brief written recap: ownership, standard, support, date.
Evidence: Copy of the recap with sensitive details redacted.
Care + scope boundary
Power differences matter. Follow HR, church, legal, and safeguarding processes where appropriate. Never use a coaching script to investigate abuse or retaliate against dissent.
Monthly evidence review
Measure formation in real life.
Private reflection
What are you withholding to manage how you are perceived?
Source lineage
Original SLS facilitation design synthesized from Mike Signorelli’s books and leadership frameworks. Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, used by permission. All rights reserved.