Month 2 · Lead Self
Empty the Invisible Ledger
Expose hidden expectations and release the scorekeeping that drains emotional authority.
Capacity being formed
Emotional Freedom
Recognize offense, shame, fear, and unresolved expectations without letting them run the room.
Evidence of formation
One recurring trigger loses intensity and produces a clear repair, boundary, or release.
Language from Mike
“It finds the pile of unspoken expectations, unhealed disappointments, and buried frustrations.”
Biblical anchor · ESV
“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”
Discovery tool
Expectations Ledger
Complete the Expectations Ledger: person, unspoken expectation, perceived debt, protective response, honest grief, responsible request, and release.
Person + event
Name the person and describe the event using only observable facts.
Coach: “What would a camera have recorded?”
Expectation
Finish: “I expected them to ____ because ____.” Mark whether it was spoken and agreed.
Coach: “Was this a covenant, a preference, or a hope?”
Debt + protection
Name what you believe is owed and how you now protect yourself: pursue, punish, prove, withdraw, control, or rehearse.
Coach: “Who pays the cost of this protection now?”
Clean response
Choose grief, a specific request, a boundary, repair, or release. Write the first sentence.
Coach: “What is yours to own without taking responsibility for theirs?”
No-prep facilitator guide
The complete 90-minute run-of-show
Bring the participant’s CT Scan result, this page, a timer, and a way to write. Read the coach language as written when useful; follow the person more closely than the clock when safety or truth requires it.
| Time | Phase | Coach does + says | Participant does |
|---|---|---|---|
| 0–7 | Arrive | Say: “This conversation is confidential within the limits we agreed. What would make these 90 minutes useful?” Then lead three slow breaths and a brief prayer. | Rate present intensity 0–10; name one desired outcome. |
| 7–15 | Witness | Ask for one piece of evidence since the last session. Reflect effort, choice, support, and result—without inflating it. | Name what changed, what helped, and what remains difficult. |
| 15–25 | Language | Read the Mike Signorelli line and Hebrews 12:15. Ask what each exposes or invites in the live situation. | Underline one phrase; explain it in your own words; choose the phrase you need today. |
| 25–45 | Expectations Ledger | Guide the four fields in order. Do not interpret ahead of the participant. Start with: “What would a camera have recorded?” | Write concise answers for all four fields using one current, concrete situation. |
| 45–57 | Locate | Ask the remaining tool prompts, then: “What is the pattern beneath the performance?” Allow silence. | Name the governing story, protection, motive, expectation, or system and the cost it creates. |
| 57–70 | Rehearse | Use the 90-second Trigger Pause: feet grounded; exhale longer than inhale; name event, emotion, body signal, story, expectation, and chosen response. Then role-play the opening sentence. | Practice the new response out loud; receive feedback; repeat until the first step is clear and natural. |
| 70–82 | Prescribe | Choose the smallest sustainable practice. Specify cue, frequency, duration, support, and visible evidence. Explain the research carefully as support—not certainty. | Select the practice, calendar it, and identify the witness or environmental support. |
| 82–90 | Covenant | Ask: “What will you do, by when, who will know, and what proof will exist?” Read the safety boundary before closing in prayer. | State one commitment, one witness, one due date, and one piece of evidence. Rate confidence 0–10; shrink the plan if below 7. |
Why the practice can work
Why naming the emotion helps
In an fMRI study, putting feelings into words was associated with reduced amygdala response and greater activity in a prefrontal regulatory region. SLS uses plain emotional language to create a pause before action—not to diagnose or suppress emotion.
Read the primary source →Lieberman et al. (2007), Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428
Thirty-day prescription
Practice until it becomes available under pressure.
At each trigger
Complete the six-line Trigger Pause before sending, confronting, posting, or withdrawing.
Evidence: Three trigger records with intensity rated before and after from 0–10.
Once this month
Complete one safe repair, clear request, boundary, or release.
Evidence: Date, exact words used, response received, and what you still own.
Care + scope boundary
Release never requires unsafe access, denial of harm, or reconciliation without repentance and repair. Refer abuse, trauma, self-harm, or clinical symptoms to a qualified professional.
Monthly evidence review
Measure formation in real life.
Private reflection
Whom are you still charging interest on an old emotional debt?
Source lineage
Original SLS facilitation design synthesized from Mike Signorelli’s books and leadership frameworks. Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, used by permission. All rights reserved.